Are you this couple doing VERY naughty things in a crowded bar!?

I’m a regular at Encore Lounge, a piano bar in downtown Boston. You can find me there any time that Steve and Rob are hosting. It’s good, clean family fun, but with booze. Steve has a great rapport with the crowd, he’s funny, he lets my theater nerd friends and me sing during the open [...]

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Are you these day-makingly adorable people?

I took a long weekend trip down to D.C. to help move my sister and her boyfriend into their new apartment.  Repeating earworm refrain of the weekend: Good lord does it feel good to be a useful human.
Moving my sister’s wardrobe burned many, many calories.  You don’t even know. That calorie expenditure turned into a [...]

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Are you this Lady Gaga person?

Jee. Zuss. Christ.
I don’t think I have ever seen a musical performance on a daytime talk show anywhere as incredible as yours yesterday on Ellen.  Readers, please put the following video into your eyes.  I promise you, it’s like community service for your occipital and temporal lobes.  Specifically the visual and aural perceiving portions.

 
I don’t [...]

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Are you these fucking persons?

Jesus Christ.  Have some fucking self-respect.  How much do I hate thee?  Let me count the ways:

Rolled up cut-off skinny jeans.
Whatever those fucking slippers are.
Red Air Jordan whateverthefuck high tops.
Ironic Ray-Bans. We get it. They were popular in a different decade. Or something.
Studded belt from Wet Seal.
Whale tank top. Whale. Tank top.  Edit: Apparently it’s [...]

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Are you this bitty? slash Are you unclear on the difference between milfs, pumas, and cougars?

This is the diagram that my two quaid friends and I were discussing at 1369 in Central Square.  You overheard what we were talking about and started laughing.  I feel bad for not showing it to you before we bounced due to our inferior meteorological abilities and dearth of umbrellas.

As you can see in this [...]

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