Prepubescent Explanation for Why I’m Gay #4
Check out this picture of me on the first day of school, 1991. I was going into the first grade and 5.92 years old.
My backpack was purple. Granted, it had Ninja Turtles on it, but my favorite TMNT was always Donatello. So net effect is zero, I guess.
Check out my major pimping with my total hottie neighbor, left, age 6.41. What’s up, pink flower hairclip!? Holding hands with an older, more refined woman? You’d think I’d be ecstatic. But check out my face – total disgust, filtered through the “Smile, Steven!” implorations of my photogramom. You can even tell that I’m pushing it away, keeping it as far away as possible, because 5.92 year-old Steven DOES NOT WANT.
Also, not that my other hand, not attached to a girl, is all limp-wristed.
QED
PS the other girl in the picture is my sister, who clearly has no effect on the topic being discussed.
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I would also submit that the matching tucked in shirt shirt and shoes with unruffled hair and pressed trousers could be an indication of gayness…. Or that you were born with the mentality of an 80.47 year old.