If I may call your attention to the latest travesty of Bhutanese toddler-made, bandwagon-jumping, not-actually-a-new-thing infomercial sadness:

(Pro tip: everything they say is wrong)

It’s nothing more than a summertime Snuggie. What a half-assed effort. No one’s going to want to go on ironic pub crawls in this thing. I might as well make a t-shirt with three wolves and a sun, or a filet knife that can only filet a filet once, or a chamois that is only recommended for use in the home, car, and boat, but not the RV.  It’s just not the same. Give me a spokesman that has dedicated his career to suing Scientology and maybe we’ll talk.

But for their credit, they did manage to squeeze some sex appeal into this Decepticon of a MuuMuu, what with the discrete upskirt shots, toned, waxed pecs and double-take-inducing near-nipslip in the first 6 seconds of the ad.  Flesh-colored strapless bra? Touché, Wearable Towel marketers.

Here’s the Wearable Towel website. But don’t get too excited – apparently the makers of the Wearable Towel are stuck in 1995, and there doesn’t seem to be a way to acquire one in less than 2 months.  Maybe they’re shipping them directly from Bhutan?  What the heck kind of respectable business thinks it’s a good idea to make people wait 8 weeks to receive their impulse buys?  I’m so over you, Wearable Towel. 

Okay, fine. I might sort of want to buy one.  Sort of.

[photo source]

h/t Jamie