Was I the only one that really craved a Big Mac after seeing SuperSize Me? I remember watching the scene when he’s puking in the parking lot because his body was rejecting the abuse so hard and thinking to myself, “man, it’s been ages since I went to McDonald’s… maybe I’ll go this afternoon.”

I was on my way to Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre! the other day and I was having flashbacks of that masochistic craving.  I stumbled upon this gem of a situation recently, so the correct course of action was obvious: The McGangbang must be experienced. 

A McGangbang is a Dollar Menu Remix: McChicken inserted in between the beef patties of a McDouble, such that the structure from top to bottom is bun beef bun chicken bun beef bun.

Strangely enough, the girl manning the drive-thru was unfamiliar with the sandwich. 

“I’d like one McGangbang please.”

“I’m sorry?” “A McGangbang.”

“Um.”

Audible sigh from me. “I’ll have a McDouble and a McChicken please.”

“Is that all?”

“Indeed, thank you.”

“$2.16, please drive up.”

WAIT. I could make this infinitely more awesome WITH RANCH DRESSING! I think as I’m handing the 20ish year old girl working there my money and explaining to her how to assemble a McGangbang.  Nice.  What is the only logical thing to call a McGangbang with ranch dressing?  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the McBukkake.  (Editor’s note: if you don’t know what that is, you probably don’t want to look it up. You’ve been warned.) Here’s a couple of pictures of the sitch I snapped with my phone.

I also took the liberty of diagramming it out:

As for the taste, it tastes much as you would assume it would.  A generic surge of lipids and simple carbohydrates, pillae-shriveling quantities of salt, with strong notes of synthesized preservatives.  But you feel like a damn champion after finishing it. And a little out of breath.

Here’s the boxscore of the McBukkake-Steve’s body Death Match, estimated using McDonald’s horrifying feature designed so one can “Create a meal that fits into your balanced, active lifestyle”:

• Total calories: 920
• Calories from fat: 450
• Total Fat: 50 g (77% DV)
• Saturated fat: 14 g (70% DV)
• Trans fat: 1.5 g
• Cholesterol: 115 mg (39% DV)
• Sodium: 2280 mg (95% DV)
• Carbohydrates: 82 g
• Sugars: 15 g
• Vitamin C: 2 mg (4% DV)

Ugh.  I’m off to do some crunches now.