Today! the New York Times published an article about how Iowa and Vermont legalized same-sex marriage and how Adam Lambert is gay. Sounds familiar. But like in a weird, unnecessarily dramatic, wordy way.

Here’s my whine target:

Can a gay contestant win?

Leave aside for a moment the answer to such a question, or even whether Mr. Lambert is gay. He may be. He may not. Fox, which owns “Idol,” is not saying; neither is the contestant himself.

Do a damn Google search. You get this:

(That’s with safe search on. Take note, Amazon.)

Who gave this reporter this story? What was the assignment? “Go write an inflammatory article about Adam Lambert under the guise of reporting on evolving cultural and political trends in the LGBT arena”? Why else would the opening paragraph be

LET’S say you are an “American Idol” contestant with a criminal history. Let’s say you claimed to have had an affair with Paula Abdul. Let’s imagine that you are found to have posed for topless photos or been charged with identity theft.

These are not hypothetical scandals.

Right. Not being in the closet ranks right up there with identity theft and criminality.

Next up for this writer: Is Lil Rounds black or not?! Neither she nor the network are saying!! How does Barack Obama’s election influence her chance at winning!!?!?!

The reporter is supposedly a fashion writer, but apparently he missed the new trend about gay dudes being, um, gay dudes. It’s all the rage. Go back and rewrite this article using correct framing: there’s an openly gay dude on Idol and there is no question about it, and this is fine, and he is probably going to win cuz he’s great. Readygo.