Consider my shoulders brushed off.

Not to give it away right off the bat, but Lisa Cooke, aka my new best friend, has named the sexy protagonist of her debut novel after my blog.

Here’s the delightful official description:

As if losing the war to the Yankees weren’t bad enough, Lottie Mason must get  $15,000 dollars to protect her ailing father from prison.  None of her friends have that kind of money and the only place she can think of to get it is from the thriving riverboat gambling enterprise on the Mississippi.  Problem is, she doesn’t know a thing about playing cards.  So she approaches the best gambler on the river to offer him a deal. She’ll pay him a percentage of her earnings if he’ll teach her to gamble.
       Texan Dyer Straights has his own demons to fight and teaching Lottie poker is the last thing he wants to do.  When Lottie’s pestering finally pushes him to the end of his rope, he makes her the most scandalous deal he can think of in order to scare her away…he’ll teach her the game if she’ll give him a night in his bed. [Poker? My blog doesn’t even know her!! – Ed.]
       What he doesn’t know is, it’s an offer she can’t refuse.

My interest is piqued!  Tell me more! Is the writing as good as the above description promises it to be??

Answer. Yes.

Now was when the big money would start hitting the table.  It was Dyer’s turn to bet or fold.  He rubbed his chin in an apparent decision making crisis as Lottie returned with their drinks.
       “Why, isn’t that the cutest thing?” she said from over his shoulder.  “All your cards match.”
       “Fold,” the other players said simultaneously, quickly throwing their cards to the center of the table.

WAIT THERE’S MORE.

She gasped, her eyes widening as though he was a gift from God.  “You’ll do it for free?  Oh, I knew somewhere inside you there was a true gentleman–”
His shaking head stopped her once again.
       “I didn’t say there would be no payment, just that I don’t want money.”
       Her smiled dropped, a wary expression settling on her once exuberant face.  “What exactly do you want, Mr. Straights?”
       He walked to her and lifted a curl from her shoulder, allowing it to wind around his finger, as her eyes grew bigger.  He stepped close enough to see the pulse beating wildly in her throat before he leaned down to brush his lips against her temple. 
       “I’ll teach you to play,” he whispered.  “If you’ll spend a night in my bed.”  He ended his demand with a kiss on her ear before he stood back feeling rather smug.

Etc.

More Q&A about this book:

How did Lisa Cooke become such a good romance novel writer?  Could I ever follow in her footsteps?

Perhaps.  It will definitely help if you follow Ms. Cooke’s strategy of answering the following four questions that are real to frame the plot, conflict, and character development of your novel.

1. Are they ever going to make love?

2. Okay, they’ve made love, now why should the reader keep reading?

3. Will he/she allow herself to actually fall in love? (This is where the danger lurks.)

4. Are they going to make love again?

Did you give Lisa Cooke permission to use your name?

No.  It’s okay though.  I’m used to poweful media types stealing my ideas.

Dyer Straights is my favorite sexy, ornery romance novel hero.  I love pretending that I’m him.  I also happen to have unnaturally strong obliques.  Is there a way for me to make money from this, or otherwise let the public know of my obliques and affinity for Dyer Straights?

Yes.  “[Ms. Cooke’s] hero, Dyer Straights, has been selected as one of twelve characters for the Mr. Romance competition at the Romantic Times convention in Orlando. Some lucky model will get to pretend he’s the sexy gambler as he takes the runway to compete for a cover contract with Dorchester Publishing!”

What are all of the puns, wordplays, or other linguistic tomfooleries involved in the title of the book and main character’s name?

• The title of the book, Texas Hold Him, is playing off of the fact that the story is about poker and also romance.  “Texas hold ‘em” is a popular poker variant, which sounds a lot like the title of the book when spoken aloud. The clever part is where she changes “em” to “him”, so that the reader knows that Lottie, the heroine who needs $15,000 to save her father, wants to hold the hero, Dyer Straights.  In a sexual, yet romantic way.  It is a romance novel, after all, people.
• “Straight” is a hand in poker, and also the surname of the hero in the novel.
• As previously recorded on this site, “Dyer” and “dire” are homophones, and “dire straights” is a popular idiomatic expression.

Shouldn’t the book be set in Texas, not New Orleans?  You know, Texas Hold Him and all.

No. That would be too cheesy and implausible and merely serve as a distraction to the reader.

Whose wordplay on “dire straights” is better?

Mine.

Where can I buy this book?

Here.

WHY DIDN’T I KNOW HOW INCREDIBLE THE WORLD OF ROMANCE NOVEL PUBLISHING WAS BEFORE NOW?!?

I don’t know.